2020 Uncovered thought from LoanCold
2020.06.07
Well, the first thought that occurred in my mind is about the design, but after several days of thought, it actually changed a lot. After uncomplete watching of Nobody Knows, I feel that there is something untouched, it's way more complicated and hard to tell. Sometimes I always think that I'm lucky enough to hold the days. Now this kind of feeling keeps remind me of the complexity of the whole world, and I'm not an average one. Instead, I'm above. And it's lucky, always.
I want to first talk about the movie Nobody Knows. It's quite heartbreaking, because it almost shows the deepest uncovered memory of city life. Abandoned, lonely and hidden in the corner of the crowded city, a 14 years old but not educated boy really experienced a lot and suffered a lot even if he didn't know what was happening. How can this boy have been in a such terrible life. And he even made friends with bad guys and as a result killed his sister, which was very shocking. I can't enable myself continuing watching and thinking about this movie which is based on true story and is way more terrible. I don't know how to say, but at least I can say that I have been through such great experience with great parents, friends, economy condition and education environment. Sometimes I feel that I have suffered a lot days before, busy conquering the conflict with headmaster, teachers and other people. But compared with the movie, I feel that it's just like the air. These are nothing important, though I still consider them as much painful.
I think every person matters, and you can't just ignore them in every aspect. You can't say that I don't see it and it just disappeared all of a sudden. We have to face the truth and keep aware of this, and then we won't "naturally" think that we are not fair, we deserve more, we are poor, we are hopeless and we are the representor of pain. Now all we need is facing everyday lives and keep going forward, because we are not kids anymore, we have more things to do, and shouldn't be limited by those tiny shit. It's not worthy. Feeling fucking angry with those shit men is not worthy, always not. We need to make most of the time going forward, and move towards the future but not these dark holes. As ancient people tell, people on the first level "see mountain as mountain, and water as water", and people on the second level " see mountain as not mountain, and water as not water", but people on the third level "see mountain as mountain still, and water too". If we really get the everything clear, we won't be so anxious about daily pieces of disturbing things.
I hope everyone can be the person on the third level, and I think following the true heart can help. Going back to my first thought: Design. Everyone has it's own sense of beauty and their ways of thinking. Keep trusting the ways you are stick to, and keep these unchanged in the next several years. Your design is neither right or wrong. But it helps you be yourself, familiar with yourself. Well, I surely have shaken this idea and questioned myself for a lot of times. But now I think, I will go my ways.
When people are people themselves, they can be their true heroes. Life is the best war.